the books about grief

I've been trying to read some books about grief, and about losing children. I have begun to realise that I've probably been in a grief process since finding out that Alex had DMD. I can remember sitting in the plastic chairs at Blythedale Children's hospital with Alex and Jenny. Jenny was a half day kindergartner and so was there through the whole process. It was the beginning for her of a long education on disability and the disabled.I wondered what that bright 5 year old was thinking and absorbing. When Dr.Lowe came to where we were sitting (he was a tall older man,with an accent, maybe Swedish, with an eye patch over one eye) and told he thought it was muscle disease,I knew what that meant, having had experience with a child in another first grade class where I had taught, who had muscular dystrophy. I stood up and started helping the kids get their coats on, my throat closing, quickly trying to get us out of there. I took in what I needed to know, that Alex would need a muscle biopsy, that they wouldn't say what it was until the test results,listening while I hurried the kids out the door,holding their hands tightly. In some of the books I read then, ,they called the child's diagnosis "the death of a dream". I don't know what my dreams for an almost 4 year old boy were then. What happened that day was that I could no longer take for granted that Alex would have a a regular life and a normal life span. All our lives changed that day.