Alex's uncle

Today I did a Google search using Alex's name and found something that looked like a blog, with Alex's Uncles Rich's art and an entry about Alex. Rich is an architect and an artist, and had done a drawing of Alex when he was in the hospital a few years ago. Alex had seen it and didn't like it. He thought he looked weak and deformed. Alex liked to look good. There is a circle worn into the rug in front of his mirror, from the wheels of his chair, from him making sure his hair and beard and clothes were how he wanted them. Alex wanted to look like who he was, strong and capable. The picture did capture Alex at his sickest and most vulnerable, but it was not the way Alex wanted to be thought of.

Rich wrote a few words about Alex, and a few words about his brother (Alex's dad). A surprise since he hasn't spoken to anyone since Alex died. Most significantly, not his brother. He was at the funeral, but arrived late, with his his wife and son. The wife hugged everyone, but never gave any words of condolence. She questioned me about something said in the eulogy, but never said anything else. I was surprised by that, even though knowing her, I shouldn't be. It makes no sense that someone who knew Alex his whole life would have nothing to say. But the bigger shock and the bigger confusion is why Rich hasn't reached out to his brother. But he wrote the blog entry and put his artwork there as a tribute, I guess. It's not enough,and it was accidental that I found it, but there it was. A little story to illustrate a little drawing and nothing else.

In DC

I spent 6 days in DC which turned out to be joyful because I was with J and visited her school and stressful because we met the future in laws.

It was so much fun to go to school with J, see her interact with the children and meet some wonderful teachers. I was worried that it would make me sad to be around kids but it was the opposite. I remembered that working with kids was what got me through those difficult times when my parents died.

It was funny to see the young teachers who are about the age I was when I stopped teaching. I always believed I'd go back, always had a teaching certificate where ever we lived,NJ,MD,NY. Life has a way of tumbling you around and leaving you somewhere that you never imagined.

So I left that experience so proud of J and the work she does. I also came home and filled out an application to volunteer here, in a program called RSVP, that puts seniors (eeeeeek!) in local schools.

I hesitate to say much about the in-laws. I wish the Dad was more like the Mom and I wish it was easier for J (and N). I want to say that maybe my experiences with Alex have made me want to embrace happiness and good things for all its worth. Life will be bring its own difficulties and challenges. As a parent of an adult my job is to be supportive and caring and proud of the child J was and the adult she's become AND to not be too much of a p in the a (to quote my own Dad). I try.