holidays

I didn't light any Hanukkah candles this year, for the first time since the kids were itty bitty. J said it was because the "rabbi" wasn't there this year and I guess its true. I continued the tradition of decorating and lighting candles and for many years, but not recently, having eight gifts ready for each night. I even left our little china Hanukkah mice that always stood next to the menorahs, in Florida. I didn't have the heart for it I guess, but next year it might be easier.

We watched the 4th season of The Wire,that I bought F for his birthday. Alex loved the show, especially the corner boys, who reminded him of some of the guys who were at Blythedale with him. He would have reminded me that the rapper Method Man was in the show, I noticed his name on the credits. So many thing I see on TV or movies that remind me of Alex. I almost don't know if I want to watch the new season of the Wire,or Rescue Me,or buy the video of the Simpson movie, which I would have done for him. In Florida we watched American Idol and had such fun with it, don't think I'd even be interested without having Alex to debate with and decide who to vote for.

These are the signs of life going on without him and that's the difficult part. I guess keeping Alex with me means thinking about him when I do things he would love or things we shared.